Two months left. I think we sometimes feel tied to this thing. Are we creating music because we want to or because we've manufactured a deadline? It seems like when I sit down to record music the past few months, I have the thought of "Got to get something together for this month's ep" in my head. In some ways, that's the point. If we don't have something pushing us to push out the music, we won't do it. We live busy lives, and music is usually the first thing to take a back seat. But has it lost it's purpose if we're creating the music to meet the monthly deadline? Originally the goal was to keep a record of our monthly happenings- however unfinished, unmixed, unmastered, out of tune, out of beat, etc.

But, as we've moved farther along each month, I think we've lost track a bit of that goal. We're not so much using the ep as a journal, but as a presentation. And I've found that my motivation has dipped as my focus has transitioned from recording for us to recording for the ep, recording for others. If I'm creating music for myself, I really could care less if something is listenable and catchy. If I'm recording for myself, the song can be as repetitive and formulaic as my ears can handle. But recording for the EP forces you to think from the listener's perspective. "Damn, this progression is the same as intro to Black Mirror..." Thoughts like that usually put the brakes on the creative train. A riff that may have otherwise evolved into a full song is halted because I'm afraid someone might tell me I ripped off an Arcade Fire song.

OK, this is all true. But, when I stop and think about it, do I really care if someone regards what I wrote is lame? Not really... if I like the glockenspiel melody I wrote, then the rest doesn't matter; I still devoted time to music. And that's more than I do when I'm caught up worrying about a deadline.

So what is my goal for the last two months? My goal is to come full circle, to remind myself of the original intent of the ep project- to keep track of our music, not to force it out.

helloGreg October 2007